“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
Last comment same thing. Sorry to the next person who sees this. I just can’t risk it. I have things I need to do before my life becomes hell. Lol
man i fucking hate yall who tf put this up knowing damn well we all gonna reblog it im heated im really sick af bout this
I don’t play that shit lol sorry
WHyyyy
Sorry everyone
If only if only the woodpecker sighs the bark on the tree was as soft as the sky why the wolf waits below hungry and lonely he cries to the moon if only if only
Shiddd
this post followed me to Facebook and im sooo annoyed!
It’s been a MINUTE since I’ve seen Madame Zeroni, fr fr
I HATE TUMBLR FKKKK SAKES
LMAOOOO
Not tryna fuck up any of my planetary Returns~
I reblogged this yesterday but idc, I ain’t playing games with Madame Zeroni or Mama Kitt
He’s twenty-fucking-two and has never been kissed.
And yes, it’s probably foolish of him to hope it might happen this evening, at Madam Malkin’s Grand Reopening Gala, but Potter looks like a walking wet dream in those shimmering blue robes Draco picked and tailored for him.
“Eyes up here, darling,” Pandy reminds him.
Easy for her to say - her lipstick’s all smeared after Ginevra snogged her silly in the restroom earlier.
“You could simply ask him to dance, you know?” Blaise drawls, sipping on his drink, but Draco huffs in irritation.
Because he’s twenty-two, gay as a rainbow, stupidly in love with Harry Potter and has never been kissed.
And why would Potter even consider dancing with him, let alone kiss him?
“I’m off,” he declares, summoning his cloak and ignoring his friends’ dramatic eye rolls.
He has nearly made it to the Floo when a hand wraps around his elbow.
“Malfoy, wait!” Potter calls, his cheeks flushing a deep shade of red when Draco turns around and gapes at him. “I mean…hi, how are you? Fancy s-seeing you here…”
“At my employer’s party?” Draco asks, confused. “She kind of forced me to come.”
“So I heard,” Potter says, then clears his voice, looking even more embarrassed. “Thanks for picking these robes for me. People keep on saying that I look great.”
“I’m sure that’s just because of you. Nothing to do with the robes,” Draco points out, then feels like an utter idiot for saying that out loud.
“No, no,” Potter insists, shaking his head. “I always find wizarding robes uncomfortable and stiff, and Hermione says I walk like a robot penguin, but these…they feel amazing!”
Draco smiles despite himself, proud of the work he’s done. He cast every softening spell under the sun on those robes, eager to make them perfect for Potter.
“I’m glad you like them,” he replies, tilting his head to better appreciate the way they hug Potter’s marvellous figure.
“There’s only one…err…problem,” Potter mumbles, torturing his curls with his fingers and suddenly staring at his feet. “I don’t…I have no idea how to take them off…”
“Oh,” Draco breathes out.
“So, if you could…maybe…” Potter says, moving his hands in the air in a sort of panicky wave. “Show me, you know.”
“Oh.” Draco murmurs, feeling his cheeks on fire, the blush probably spreading to his ears and neck. “Sure.”
“Great!” Potter exclaims, so loudly that a few heads turn in their direction.
Draco barely has the time to register Pansy’s evil grin and Blaise’s thumbs up when Potter grabs his wrist and side-alongs them to a cluttered bedroom decorated in Gryffindor colours.
Potter’s bedroom.
Fuck.
Draco takes a deep breath and tries to remind himself that he needs to stay professional.
Potter just needs help getting out of his robes, nothing weird about that. He grew up as a Muggle, and he doesn’t normally wear intricate formal robes, as he told Draco himself during the fitting.
Deep breath.
Potter stands in front of him, eyes so green behind the lenses of his glasses, his lips slightly parted and his skin smelling of oranges and cinnamon and something that makes Draco’s head spin madly.
Deep fucking breath.
“Can…can I touch you…I mean, I need to…” Draco starts, his hands shaking as Potter moves closer and nods.
“Yes,” he whispers.
“Okay, so the key is to start with the clasp at the top,” Draco explains, fingers moving tentatively over the smooth surface of the fabric, unfastening the silvery clasp with ease and noticing the way Potter’s gaze won’t leave his face, suddenly uninterested in learning how to get out of his clothes. “Then you need to undo the three buttons on the left side of your chest,” Draco continues, sliding each mother-of-pearl button into its eyelet with trembling hands.
“Hmm,” Potter murmurs, eyes lingering on Draco’s lips.
Salazar wept, Draco is about to spontaneously combust.
“The good thing about this type of formal robes is that they’re all pretty much the same,” Draco blabbers on, Potter’s gaze so intense that Draco feels he’s going to burn a hole through him and see all the love pouring out of Draco’s faulty heart. “And once you undo the clasp and the buttons, and then move on to the laces on the side, then,” he continues, Potter’s hands suddenly moving and resting on Draco’s waist, tentative and warm. “T-then they all come undone,” he says, his voice faint when his fingers clutch desperately at the laces as Potter’s eyes lock with his, his lips only a few inches away, “…in one…” Draco pulls without thinking, and Potter’s robes all fall down with a loud thump, pooling at his feet and leaving him in only a pair of boxers. “…go.”
Draco looks down, swallowing loudly.
He stares at the expanse of Potter’s chest, his breathing irregular as Draco takes it all in, his lovely skin and broad shoulders, the golden snitches dancing on his underwear.
“I fucking hate parties,” Potter announces, his cheeks flushed again.
“Right…” Draco breathes out, still unable to pry his eyes away from Potter’s gorgeous body, his fingers resting on Potter’s shoulders, slowly moving down, then up, unsure where to go, what to touch.
“I hate parties,” Potter repeats, “but I only went because you were going to be there.”
“Oh,” Draco says, surprised and relieved as he takes a step closer, until their chests are touching, and it all feels so surreal to feel Potter’s breath on his skin, to marvel at how lovely it feels when his nose nuzzles Draco’s cheek, and his eyes close.
“Can I kiss you?” Potter asks, sounding desperate, and Draco smiles.
“Merlin, yes.”
And it all feels so lovely and close, and wet and soft. Draco’s fingers flutter aimlessly on Potter’s skin as they kiss for what feels like hours, or maybe seconds, his head swimming as Potter holds him close and doesn’t seem to want to let go.
►Post-war, Draco Malfoy did exactly what was expected of him; he married for convenience and produced an heir to the Malfoy name. Ten years later, and heavily struggling with alcoholism, he’s lost and his wife is at her wits’ end. There’s only one person who can help Draco now and he’s the very last person on earth Draco wants help from. Exactly what will happen when Harry Potter, against Draco’s will, takes charge of his life?
►In sixth year, Harry begins obsessively tracking Draco Malfoy’s every move, telling himself it’s the only way to prevent Malfoy from carrying out his dark plans. But as the year progresses, fist fights and mutual animosity gradually give way to a swirling, complicated intimacy that neither boy expects or understands, even as they desperately try to shield it from the outside world.
►Draco has a pocket watch, a family heirloom. Instead of telling time, it informs him about the next coming moment —- how long till your potion burn, or your loved ones wither and lost. It has been seven years since the war was over. Draco now owns a small potion store in a far corner of Knockturn Alley. Despite all the loss and painful changes, he is somewhat settling with his current state of life. It is mostly quiet, which is good, until the day Harry Potter with severe sleep deprivation push open the door and steps into his store. Not long after, his face is stuck on his pocket watch. Harry has a problem for which only Draco has a cure. But perhaps, the problem fixing part is mutual.
►In which Harry and Draco have a time-turner accident, and many things go wrong, but a lot of things also go right. Featuring: reptilian bonding night, canon-inaccurate animagus lessons, and a fuck-ton of pining.
►When eighteen-year-old Draco Malfoy finds himself back at Hogwarts on the eve of Voldemort’s infamous return, he is confronted with the most difficult decision he’s ever had to make: Relive the 6th year at school he’s tried so hard to forget, or do the unthinkable and ally himself with Potter’s lot…
►Every time they ran into each other, Harry found himself hoping that Malfoy had gotten less attractive, that it would be easier to look at him. But he hadn’t, the bastard. He could have stepped out of the society pages and into the jungle, his clothing immaculate, his hair glowing like a halo. […]
►Harry is a vampire in a world where vampires have been nearly hunted to extinction. He is on the run, constantly hiding from hunters and looking for the next place to hunker down. He’s on the edge of his rope, when he runs into a nervous boy named Draco, who is terrified of vampires. Draco being lonely himself and thinking Harry is human, invites him to stay while his father is away.
Ever since I found fanfiction, I’ve been a huuuge sucker for podfics. I’m listening to stories all the time when I can’t actually read them; when I’m doing groceries, sitting on a bus, knitting, doing house chores, taking a walk… They always brighten my day and make boring duties feel so much easier, sometimes I even find myself waiting for being able to do the dishes, haha. I’m also always in awe of how talented the podficcers are and how they manage to make the stories alive in a completely new way with their presence.
So, if you like podfics, I hope you find something to listen to from this list. Many of these podficcers have also recorded many more great podfics than I’ve mentioned on this list!
What on earth was her son thinking, falling for Harry Potter of all people, Narcissa wonders. But after the death of her husband, she finds him useful in many, and sometimes surprising, regards.
After failing in his task of killing Dumbledore, life doesn’t go as Draco expected. Sometimes just surviving takes everything you’ve got. And sometimes healing is something you can’t do alone. Story goes AU/AR from the end of Half-Blood Prince.
Professor Malfoy’s world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.
Auror Harry Potter is in hospital being treated for a curse when someone tries to kill him. Obviously it is up to bored, trapped Apprentice Healer Draco, who was only admitted to the Healer Program in the first place to do the menial work, to find out who did it. Because then they will promote him. No, it’s for no other reason, thanks.
Eleven-year-old Scorpius starts writing to Harry. Harry starts to fall in love with Draco through his portrayal in his son’s letters.
Featuring an extremely remorseful Draco living with muggles and working at a second-hand book shop, an isolated Harry, and a Scorpius who’s dreading going to Hogwarts because he knows he’ll be bullied there.
Harry thinks, “Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?” is a much simpler question than, “Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don’t, what will you do?”
‘You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work.
After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry and Draco both fall into their own battles with their mental states. Draco is sent to Azkaban, and Harry turns to drinking, hoping to forget.
Months later, Harry visits St Mungo’s new ward on the request of a friend, only to find Draco in a deep vegetative state.
Not willing to give him up, Harry stays by his side, while simultaneously dealing with the Ministry’s newest grand idea to make everything worse.
Making new allies, and losing old ones along the way, will hopefully be worth it in the end.
The Room of Requirement was severely damaged in the war, but not so much that it could not provide for one lost student and another young hero—especially when they needed each other most of all.
The war is over and Draco is alone, fighting demons of a different nature. This is obviously an AU by now. Written after “The Half-Blood Prince” came out.
Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.
And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what’s he doing right, that Harry isn’t?
Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years.
Auror Potter and Unspeakable Malfoy team up to investigate a series of missing persons, and it soon becomes apparent that Dementors are involved. Despite their initial misgivings, Harry and Draco find that they need each other’s help, in more ways than one.
Harry and Draco have moved in together, but Harry is hiding the truth of his childhood from Draco. Draco struggles to understand until a phone call from Harry’s estranged cousin changes everything.
Reparations:Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.
Foundations:When one door closes, another one opens – with a bit of a push. Life, love and complications.
Draco is cursed and starts uncontrollably turning into a kitten whenever he’s stressed. There is, of course, only one logical solution: he must move in with Harry until they figure out how to break the curse.
Beginning with Draco’s unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry’s summer becomes filled with activity and many secrets. He generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side.
Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It’s all right here, folks.
Draco will die in six months if he can’t get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that’s not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List. Tap-dancing lessons? Rock climbing? Poetry-writing? Threesomes? Cocaine? Getting to know his adorable cousin, Teddy Lupin? Draco will try them all!
Feat. Cheerily pessimistic Draco, devoted bitch queen Pansy Parkinson, and a Harry who can’t help but notice that something seems DIFFERENT about Draco, these days.
It’s been four months since Harry lost his memory. Four months of dead ends and no answers. With time running out until his memories are gone for good, Harry agrees to a course of Legilimency therapy with a renowned specialist: Mind Healer Draco Malfoy.
So the struck eagle, stretch’d upon the plain, No more through rolling clouds to soar again, View’d his own feather on the fatal dart, And wing’d the shaft that quiver’d in his heart.
Harry likes his job in the Office for the Regulamentation and Control of Interweb Publications well enough, but Malfoy’s being a git and making trouble as usual. Luckily Harry can go home and chat with his new friend, the anonymous comedy blogger who’s so popular with wizards and Muggles alike… Features Muggles, inter-office memos, house-elves, rubber ducks, 4am chats, and porn. Because that’s what the internet is for.
When Draco finds himself a pariah in Wizarding society after the war, he comes up with a whole new way to show his face in public. But he never expected Harry bloody Potter to want in on the plan.
So I saw here on this beloved website that apparently on Pottermore, it mentions that Severus Snape and Regulus Black’s efforts to help take down Voldemort are published and honored post-war.
And now I’m just thinking about Draco reading about his own cousin—who also took the Mark at 16 years old, who also performed the role of Perfect Son, who also had his eyes opened to the terrors of Voldemort’s regime—whose last act in life was to help take down Voldemort. And something just clicks for Draco then. He’s not doomed to the choices he made; he’s not locked into a life of regret and self-pity. And yeah, he can never make some big heroic act like his cousin, but he can make the choice to be a better person, whether or not he’s ever recognized or forgiven. And that’s what leads Draco down the path of actively unlearning his ingrained ideology and working to become a more open, accepting, and compassionate person.
And I like to think that if Regulus could see the person his little cousin becomes, he’d be proud.
